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HeXr

Offline (the 02/08/2014 at 3:57am) | Search for a member

HeXr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6717
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

HeXr's page activity

Visits<b>barneyAU</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:20pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:08pm<b>pjpeej13</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:44pm<b>bluehero</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:35am<b>KissMyButtocks</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 12:30am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:18am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:10pm<b>mattlw</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:13pm<b>Porcei</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:19am<b>ThatLooksSticky</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:19pm<b>catkat1988</b> - the 01/23/2012 at 6:38am<b>silent_bride</b> - the 12/09/2011 at 2:09pm<b>ikickgingers</b> - the 12/02/2011 at 11:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>ffmelvin03</b> - the 09/24/2010 at 12:51am<b>Baron_n_1</b> - the 09/10/2010 at 2:34pm<b>wtfyou</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 7:26pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (30427)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (1705)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
121 comments

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21588) - you deserved it (1748)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (2319)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

#20089771
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (2093)

On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

#20089281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15177) - you deserved it (8053)

On 09/26/2012 at 7:40am - work - by big mouth (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (1473)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (28691)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25145) - you deserved it (5688)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (2287)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (2779)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (25370)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (2060)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)



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