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HeXr

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HeXr
  • Town/Country : Oakville, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5360
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

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HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (17615)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (22135)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (14718)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (23685)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (23685)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38446) - you deserved it (3667)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

#19775676
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (2446)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (7857)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18325) - you deserved it (7029)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17018) - you deserved it (1520)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (2521)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (3647)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

#19740850
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17987) - you deserved it (2514)

On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

#19709039
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (3651)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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