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HeXr

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HeXr
  • Town/Country : Oakville, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5337
  • Number of comments : 381
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HeXr : People are stupid

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HeXr's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17591) - you deserved it (41828)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (7879)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45014) - you deserved it (15886)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21072) - you deserved it (46368)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (3841)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (3992)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

#21040445
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (3512)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47287) - you deserved it (8637)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43956) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54133) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (49575)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34999) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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