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HeXr's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 9:36am / Estonia (Tartumaa) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
by CoA / 09/06/2016 at 7:40am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Ihatepants / 08/31/2016 at 9:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
by Caqtusmonkey / 08/25/2016 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
by crazycatlady / 08/24/2016 at 5:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I had to ask my sister if she'd shit her pants because the smell of poop was following us around Paris. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I had to ask an eighteen-year-old, or that she said yes and didn't do anything. FML
by smellsfunnyinfrance / 08/21/2016 at 12:43pm / United Kingdom / Holidays
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my house flooded. Hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies, multiple video game systems, academic awards from middle school, birthday cards from my deceased grandfather; it's all gone. What remained untouched? The cat's litter box, which somehow floated. FML.
by KiraK_320 / 08/18/2016 at 9:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by TheHeirofTime / 08/15/2016 at 11:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
by FartMyLife / 08/11/2016 at 7:34am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Hey, thats not math!? / 08/09/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…