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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Harrywhat

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Harrywhat
  • Town/Country : Salem, Oregon
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 April 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 794
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Harrywhat : Hello.

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Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (5754)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

#6534520 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (16319) - you deserved it (3755)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (46092)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (5637) - you deserved it (29428)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (40022)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (46845)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

#3996301 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (4655) - you deserved it (42794)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:23am - love - by SexyPlayer9 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (6799)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (64981) - you deserved it (4087)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (84680) - you deserved it (14954)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (48923)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

#45177 (25)

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

#20879 (17)

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (1609)

On 02/10/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by Flavorite (man) - United States (Texas)