Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About HardcoreHelena : Helena.
NEVER EVER underestimate the power from a little girl like myself. Four eleven, and I can still kick your ass. I'm cocky and I know i am, but that doesn't bother me one bit.
ALL I DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN NO MATTER WHAT. (: pure cockiness.
Raiders is my thing. I got a passion for it. We always kick ass, so no douche comments about it. First place always (: IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT. I bleed, I bruise, I push myself past the limits. Raiders is my life :)
ROLL TIDE! (: national champions. i'm a sucker for Bama and any college football really. :D
Addictions would include:_
Pandora Radio, MTV, Cute is What We Aim For, the colour blue, Raiders, narwhales, fainting goats, college football, soccer and Justin Moore. (:
I'm probably too young for you, so don't even try shit with me, kkay? (:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Friday 12 December 2014