Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Haelous

Search for a member

Haelous
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17849
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Haelous's last visitors

Soccer_Ninja01DuhFlyingPenguinEpicStuffWeeklylissnkayla_f_babyyy

Haelous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Haelous's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19342) - you deserved it (9483)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20039) - you deserved it (913)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42665) - you deserved it (2041)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18939) - you deserved it (1995)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (6717)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (29411)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

#1434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5213) - you deserved it (44555)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

#949
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12347) - you deserved it (5598)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:52pm - work - by Carrie - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17748) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (67167)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: