Haelous

Search for a member

Haelous

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18722
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Haelous's page activity

Visits<b>zeldah</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:43pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:50am<b>10220706</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:45pm<b>CyanideCyan</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sarahyep</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:26am<b>xJChristine</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:33pm<b>TheOfficalJeff</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:17am<b>Ann_Onyme</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:33pm<b>cmcgirt37383</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:10pm<b>savior59</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:38pm<b>stylesrepublic</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:07am<b>Soccer_Ninja01</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 3:08am<b>lostsaga22</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 9:27pm<b>DuhFlyingPenguin</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:20am<b>EpicStuffWeekly</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 8:26pm

Haelous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Haelous's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

by FractalSanity / 02/01/2009 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

by crakbbyaparently / 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

by EpicFail / 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

by waitingformyfoodstamps / 01/24/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

by footinmouth / 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

by Wenny / 01/18/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

by FailMan / 01/17/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

by Carrie / 01/10/2009 at 10:52pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

by sexaddict / 01/07/2009 at 3:16am / Intimacy