Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Haelous

Search for a member

Haelous
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17848
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Haelous's last visitors

Soccer_Ninja01DuhFlyingPenguinEpicStuffWeeklylissnkayla_f_babyyy

Haelous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Haelous's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (420096)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42101) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56871) - you deserved it (20112)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (12047)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

#8630
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43351) - you deserved it (2017)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5845)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5845)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5845)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5845)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5845)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (5534)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (1758)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (7241)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: