About Hacksaw : Schadenfreude.
Hacksaw's FML badges
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Hacksaw's favorite FMLs
by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
by Spatch / 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML
by Dave / 09/10/2009 at 9:37am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:02am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 5:21am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
by thefailure / 08/02/2009 at 12:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
by deadbunnies / 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
by epicc1584 / 07/30/2009 at 8:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
by bookworm94 / 07/27/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked… Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her… Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle…