About Hacksaw
Schadenfreude.
Hacksaw - Followers
Hacksaw - Followed
Hacksaw's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    47%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    840%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    157%
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    0%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    0%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    0%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    6%
The list of badges to find
Hacksaw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

By uh-oh - / Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:45 / United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

By Divorcemenow - / Friday 17 July 2009 22:02 / United States

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

By iJehx - / Monday 13 July 2009 22:18 / United States

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

By lawliet_L - / Friday 17 July 2009 15:54 / Canada

Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a man who lost 650 pounds. I ignored it, until I saw who sent it. My mom, with the message "Maybe there's hope for you." FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 14 July 2009 11:41 / United States