About Hacksaw : Schadenfreude.
Hacksaw's FML badges
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Hacksaw's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML
by ringmaster101 / 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
by Kensie / 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
by VroomVroom / 03/04/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation
by you would / 03/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love
Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML
by ouch / 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML
by joAnne / 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
by Werner / 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML
by Stairway2Heaven / 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by EPICfml. / 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by alejita / 03/02/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
by catlady / 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML
by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by jajaja / 03/01/2009 at 2:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
by thissucks / 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…