Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HKate5

Search for a member

HKate5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 374
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

HKate5's page activity

Visits<b>Sheepd0g</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:06pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:51pm<b>bnjmn10</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>dangerika93</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 6:05pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 11:04am<b>bossmanboss15</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:32pm<b>bushyyboy</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SmoothSeth</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 11:02pm<b>soulman281</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 10:41pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 10:28pm<b>ZoeMoe17</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 2:44pm<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 1:52pm<b>bps315</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:24pm<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm<b>jeep575</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:02pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 3:13pm

HKate5's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of HKate5's badges

HKate5's favorite FMLs

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (4674)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (2740)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (3387)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (18938)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (5303)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26468) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (6866)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (15411)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30387) - you deserved it (4154)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72499) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (96674)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: