Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About HKCgrimmjow : 6 cups of coffee a day
Maybe one meal a day
Workout every day
Go to school 4 days a week
Go to work 5 days a week
Weekends? What weekends? If only I could remember them.
This ain't love, it's desperation
I'm a psychology major with a busy life, dealing with my own problems my own way.
Obsessive, not so much compulsive, have a problem with money, I see lots of it and then all of a sudden it's gone! Where did it go? Well usually somewhere on weekends. If there's anyone who funds the bars in this town it's probably me!
You ask me if I deal with my problems by drinking, I say no, I probably do.
Do I care? Most likely not.
Do I care what you think? I'll say yes but I mean no.
Do I care about people? I say no but I have yet to test this, so for now I can't be sure.
Am I a jackass? No. Am I an asshole? That's a matter of opinion I guess, come form your own opinion!
I have no concept of value, money holds no value to me, but I do like my toys, and always will!
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML
Friday 18 July 2014