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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 December 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3531
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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GreenHacker's page activity

Visits<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 4:48pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 4:34am<b>shavednipples</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:05am<b>DemHaxBro</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:47pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:03pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:38am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 7:41pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:27pm<b>hannahruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:31am<b>TacDavis</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:40am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:44pm<b>sstahpp</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:05am<b>KrazyKrantz</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:37pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:12pm<b>acke01</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:44am<b>23lf</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:03am<b>JesterMester</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:03pm

GreenHacker's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

GreenHacker's favorite FMLs

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

by paris78 / 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

by Lovenotes / 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

by tooflufoschool / 10/14/2009 at 9:00am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

by PanFace / 10/13/2009 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

by keepmouthshut / 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

by BadStuden / 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

by razgriz1 / 08/20/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy