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GreenHacker

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GreenHacker
  • Town/Country : Littleton, MA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 December 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2830
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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GreenHacker's favorite FMLs

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

#5876012
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (30775)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:30am - misc - by cheat - United States (Texas)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (3093)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

#5869946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13549) - you deserved it (35360)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84213) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

#5826469
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (4733)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7866) - you deserved it (100293)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (10454)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7418) - you deserved it (49977)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (39592)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (43664)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73129)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66126) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)



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