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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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GreenHacker

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GreenHacker
  • Town/Country : Littleton, MA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 December 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2360
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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GreenHacker's favorite FMLs

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (1583)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (12200) - you deserved it (4821)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

#6451435 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (4982) - you deserved it (14264)

On 11/25/2009 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by NotSoSexy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (2047)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML

#6248047 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (1474)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (1501)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (2190)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

#6163418 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (3406)

On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

#6080955 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (19783) - you deserved it (16976)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

#6018223 (35)

I agree, your life sucks (14801) - you deserved it (5796)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:45am - kids - by Chub (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at AT&T getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (1073)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (4589)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (2063)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

#5876012 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (10483) - you deserved it (23170)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:30am - misc - by cheat - United States (Texas)