GreatGeak

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 9:03pm)

GreatGeak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1826
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About GreatGeak : Bacon

GreatGeak's page activity

Visits<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 4:17am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:50am<b>sassykenzie</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:36am<b>lordofnerds79</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:18pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 6:01pm<b>freyday</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:15pm<b>iprene</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:14am<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:52pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:06am<b>Sqaud00</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 8:58am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:37am<b>senpai_kush</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:23am<b>ThaReaper319</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:53pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:46pm

GreatGeak's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of GreatGeak's badges

GreatGeak's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

by everythingWASperfect / 11/13/2010 at 9:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

by jackson / 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

by sheyo / 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous