About GreatGeak : Well, I like to think...a lot.
I liked to smoke, but ideally gave it up for the better...we'll see.
Most likely I have made a good comment that nocked you off your feet and made you start to think...good...to many people are blinded by their own illusion of the truth...I've got my own.
I've got my own illusions but we won't go there, if you'd like, you can message me, but it's most likely I'm using my itouch and won't be able to get back with you.
Thanks for reading my banter...it was fun.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10578) - you deserved it (35205)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (1888)
On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor - United States (California)
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (8638)
On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, I finished and turned in the last of the seventeen major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my bosses office, I hear her ask her assistant "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (2025)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:37pm - work - by inpuredeceit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41045) - you deserved it (6572)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (2745)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (2679)
On 12/17/2010 at 4:48am - health - by dmsmcd (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (2089)
On 11/28/2010 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13923) - you deserved it (37209)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20050) - you deserved it (8486)
On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18555) - you deserved it (1574)
On 11/15/2010 at 4:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33937) - you deserved it (2883)
On 11/13/2010 at 9:43am - work - by everythingWASperfect - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7694) - you deserved it (23869)
On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (3395)
On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
