Grand_Cookie

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Offline (the 03/22/2016 at 5:48am)

Grand_Cookie

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21840
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:57pm<b>TheSenorPenguino</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:26pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 5:59am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:53am<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:27am<b>Noah98</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:41pm<b>oceanic_bluee</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:58pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:58am<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:09pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:14pm<b>tyrann0sauruslex</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:03pm<b>LadyKayDee</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:18pm<b>player20270</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:36pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:15am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:52pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:18pm<b>r1has</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

by nato / 11/27/2012 at 8:16am / United States / Work

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2012 at 8:30am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

by Eganstein / 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

by WamBamSam / 11/21/2012 at 4:54am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Transportation

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

by Jo / 11/21/2012 at 12:42am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.