Grand_Cookie

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Offline (the 03/22/2016 at 5:48am)

Grand_Cookie

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21756
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>TheSenorPenguino</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:26pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 5:59am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:53am<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:27am<b>Noah98</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:41pm<b>oceanic_bluee</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:58pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:58am<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:09pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:14pm<b>tyrann0sauruslex</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:03pm<b>LadyKayDee</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:18pm<b>player20270</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:36pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:15am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:52pm<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:18pm<b>r1has</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:23am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

179It definitely does!83738You deserved it5763

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

82It definitely does!51048You deserved it9609

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

108It definitely does!53985You deserved it5064

by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

145It definitely does!94880You deserved it5993

by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

120It definitely does!45008You deserved it7294

by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

160It definitely does!63604You deserved it4953

by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

84It definitely does!54605You deserved it7639

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

171It definitely does!72951You deserved it10908

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

37I agree, your life sucks26741Yep, we thought so too34324

by charishard / 05/04/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

98It definitely does!52709You deserved it5553

by poopydaddy / 05/03/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

106It definitely does!51705You deserved it13075

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 9:57am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health