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Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16294
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>kiante99</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 9:55am<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:27am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:46pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:13am<b>aruden</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:13am<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:35am<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Cynoblaze</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:39pm<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:35pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:10pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:10am<b>bigmike3000</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:52am<b>JohnTheMermaid</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:33am<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:52pm<b>missblue97</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:39am<b>VeryPhyxal</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (37970)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

#15714143
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (29212)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

#15712381
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45987) - you deserved it (4097)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (9267)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43905) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (4941)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (3153)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (33957)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

#15661071
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (32938)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:19am - misc - by American idol -

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

#15657358
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (10481)

On 04/05/2011 at 9:52pm - misc - by troublewithbleach (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (6067)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

#15649522
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12415) - you deserved it (32403)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

#15647820
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10844) - you deserved it (40372)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

#15647734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8913) - you deserved it (52037)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -

Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML

#15646476
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16866) - you deserved it (34120)

On 04/05/2011 at 1:10am - work - by 4themoneh - United States (California)



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