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About Grand_Cookie : Not a big fan of random Internet creepers.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8256) - you deserved it (2641)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (1616)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My suprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6589) - you deserved it (1136)
On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6773) - you deserved it (13364)
On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (705)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7533) - you deserved it (704)
On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2497) - you deserved it (7595)
On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8125) - you deserved it (1797)
On 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm - animals - by dcort - United States (New York)
Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20877) - you deserved it (1784)
On 04/06/2012 at 9:17am - animals - by rubberduckie94 (woman) - United States
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13337) - you deserved it (1193)
On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8492) - you deserved it (10048)
On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2044) - you deserved it (9281)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (589)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (564)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14253) - you deserved it (1308)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)
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