About Grand_Cookie : Blah blah blah, random facts about me, blah blah blah, other stuff i like, blah blah blah, some inspirational quote, blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.
Redheads>Jesus
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One ring to rule them all
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5022) - you deserved it (449)
On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (1921)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (2956)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (2956)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (2182)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (5105)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38029) - you deserved it (4919)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (7917)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58753) - you deserved it (3588)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41532) - you deserved it (7991)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (3860)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70767) - you deserved it (4245)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (5948)
On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52711) - you deserved it (3877)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44168) - you deserved it (6077)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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