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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Gran_Seil

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Gran_Seil
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 December 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Gran_Seil's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (50865) - you deserved it (6109)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

#4420726 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (10755) - you deserved it (37352)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML

#4374994 (381)

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (6118)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

#4371069 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (4547)

On 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by scarredforlife (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML

#4359273 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you deserved it (2212)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:31am - misc - by Crazyyyymomentsss (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (5758)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (43943)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (48610) - you deserved it (1649)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (28139)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (12414) - you deserved it (43889)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (89163) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (5331) - you deserved it (55607)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (56076)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my enraged girlfriend told me she was fired from her nurse job for no reason. I called her employer to find out why. He told me that she was caught "helping out" a male patient, and that supposedly she has done the same with just about every good looking guy that comes into the hospital. FML

#4257734 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (48200) - you deserved it (2258)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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