Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Goldenchest

Offline (the 12/09/2014 at 12:49pm) | Search for a member

Goldenchest

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14315
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.

Goldenchest's page activity

Visits<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 3:01pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:09pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:30am<b>benjweaver</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:34pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:27am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:08am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:58pm<b>buttercup72</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:14am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:04am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Big_Pickle</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:30pm<b>skatergurl1469</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:18am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:29pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:20am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:56am<b>TheGingerLady</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:26pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:15pm

Goldenchest's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Goldenchest's badges

Goldenchest's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66458) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (5138)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (3450)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

#20980160
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (3641)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Broke - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (5181)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43254) - you deserved it (8119)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46274) - you deserved it (2810)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38688) - you deserved it (4035)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59612) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55903) - you deserved it (12489)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (2726)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: