About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16292) - you deserved it (3582)
On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37505) - you deserved it (1576)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13620) - you deserved it (910)
On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32096) - you deserved it (1607)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (3871)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (951)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (6507)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14112) - you deserved it (767)
On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13097) - you deserved it (3814)
On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (885)
On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18691) - you deserved it (1530)
On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16981) - you deserved it (959)
On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (1244)
On 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm - misc - by ThreeTimesUnlucky - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (1983)
On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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