Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Goldenchest

Search for a member

Goldenchest

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11520
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.

Goldenchest's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:08am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:58pm<b>buttercup72</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:14am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:04am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Big_Pickle</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:30pm<b>skatergurl1469</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:18am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:29pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:20am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:56am<b>TheGingerLady</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:26pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:15pm<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:50am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 8:51pm<b>piggybits</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:37am<b>misterspock</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 9:18am<b>Ruler3000</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:20pm

Goldenchest's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Goldenchest's badges

Goldenchest's favorite FMLs

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

#20980160
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43392) - you deserved it (3633)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Broke - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39733) - you deserved it (5092)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42345) - you deserved it (7975)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46193) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43258) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59483) - you deserved it (4301)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (12471)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40525) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (2665)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48884) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: