About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55421) - you deserved it (2342)
On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7361) - you deserved it (83474)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34111) - you deserved it (21459)
On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating pain when she stuck the needle in my arm. Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently my inexperienced nurse had put it in my tendon instead of my vein. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54761) - you deserved it (1713)
On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (4291)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (190147)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42843) - you deserved it (16227)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (8745)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52485) - you deserved it (3603)
On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61075) - you deserved it (4809)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17937) - you deserved it (196459)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47153) - you deserved it (3133)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (10370)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (110483) - you deserved it (6855)
On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45760) - you deserved it (3804)
On 05/11/2009 at 2:21am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
