About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (18337)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60577) - you deserved it (2588)
On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59714) - you deserved it (7496)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129360) - you deserved it (5329)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70570) - you deserved it (2332)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66129) - you deserved it (179562)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136618) - you deserved it (6048)
On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96893) - you deserved it (4810)
On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (48824)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74411) - you deserved it (2888)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76555) - you deserved it (13451)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (142280)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53348) - you deserved it (418305)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (196820) - you deserved it (29132)
On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18971) - you deserved it (49986)
On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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