About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
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Goldenchest's favorite FMLs
Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 1:13pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 4:04am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 7:37am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Health
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML
by milhouse86 / 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Geek
by lovelife / 09/27/2010 at 9:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML
by stranded / 09/27/2010 at 1:56am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML
by Username / 09/26/2010 at 8:50pm / Transportation
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 5:26am / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Love
Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:59am / United States (Florida) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…