About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
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Goldenchest's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML
by Delanto / 02/06/2014 at 11:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by a2 / 02/06/2014 at 1:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by tigerisabelle / 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML
by Lithiac / 02/04/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML
by fitzy79 / 01/31/2014 at 3:04pm / United States / Work
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
by AnonWife / 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Health
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML
by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Pop / 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by -_- / 01/12/2014 at 3:03am / United States / Kids