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Goldenchest

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Goldenchest

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12437
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.

Goldenchest's page activity

Visits<b>benjweaver</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 7:34pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:27am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:08am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:58pm<b>buttercup72</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:14am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:04am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:53pm<b>Big_Pickle</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:30pm<b>skatergurl1469</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 12:18am<b>DawnofDark</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:29pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:20am<b>Rallred32</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:56am<b>TheGingerLady</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:26pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:15pm<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:50am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 8:51pm<b>piggybits</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:37am

Goldenchest's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Goldenchest's badges

Goldenchest's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52814) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (7891)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38889) - you deserved it (3794)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44156) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53055) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66732) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (2571)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (5034)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54685) - you deserved it (6479)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47636) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

#20753667
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (7997)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by damniphone - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33490) - you deserved it (4841)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58630) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (10143)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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