About Goldenchest : Not many people appreciate bowties and fezzes as much as I do.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (4033)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (2425)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States
Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (2683)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (2866)
On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (26329)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (3031)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (21981)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50336) - you deserved it (2764)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (3875)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (2952)
On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (4238)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (2778)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (3197)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31790) - you deserved it (2624)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (3291)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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