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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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GlobeNinja

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GlobeNinja
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 6383
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About GlobeNinja : Pretty relaxed and chilled out person.

GlobeNinja's last visitors

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GlobeNinja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailor started out with "Most babies are accidents..." right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (48107) - you deserved it (3087)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85946) - you deserved it (50906)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

#2733266 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (14460) - you deserved it (31259)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:45am - love - by Ryan746 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

#2658962 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (7963) - you deserved it (39467)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (464)

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (98461)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (97750)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

#1909780 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (41090) - you deserved it (26569)

On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111558) - you deserved it (26056)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (52695) - you deserved it (21604)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (74686)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (18483) - you deserved it (77293)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was in the shower and had just finished washing my face. When I put the soap down I noticed a curly, black hair stuck to it. Im blond. The only other person who uses that bathroom is my uncle. I just rubbed my uncle's pubic hair all over my face. FML

#1323775 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (42335) - you deserved it (6249)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

#278684 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (67641) - you deserved it (3613)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (29575) - you deserved it (63309)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363067) - you deserved it (401412)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)