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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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GleeIsTransient

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GleeIsTransient
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GleeIsTransient's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (3359)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (2593)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (53624)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

#5422462 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (20509)

On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (2260)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (68089)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (8602) - you deserved it (59424)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

#5288582 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - work - by interviewed (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45747) - you deserved it (10321)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (6118) - you deserved it (38826)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (4321)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (58549) - you deserved it (2853)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (4900)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (47858) - you deserved it (6375)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)