Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Giftig

Offline (yesterday at 1:04pm) | Search for a member

Giftig

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2328
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Giftig's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:58am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:32am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:28pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:30pm<b>jamsdean</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:22am<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:54am<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:01pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:23pm<b>razi1</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 5:44am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:36pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:47pm<b>bkinns</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:38am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:51am<b>Straya_for_life</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Genesis2point0</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:01am<b>cesar_caf</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:08pm<b>Just_Ajay</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 4:40pm<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:20pm

Giftig's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Giftig's badges

Giftig's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (5057)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (5351)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (28029)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7062) - you deserved it (18711)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
274 comments

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20025) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (2142)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (3430)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (4114)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18628) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17683) - you deserved it (1994)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17683) - you deserved it (1994)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (3917) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: