Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Giftig

Offline (the 07/26/2014 at 7:27pm) | Search for a member

Giftig

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2144
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Giftig's page activity

Visits<b>jamsdean</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:22am<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:54am<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:01pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:23pm<b>razi1</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 5:44am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:36pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:47pm<b>bkinns</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:38am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:51am<b>Straya_for_life</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Genesis2point0</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:01am<b>cesar_caf</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:08pm<b>Just_Ajay</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 4:40pm<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:20pm<b>Rood</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 2:29pm<b>itzdj</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 4:02pm<b>Tall_Enough</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 10:10am<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 3:42pm

Giftig's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Giftig's badges

Giftig's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35013) - you deserved it (6746)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (5955)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (5445)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46253) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (8272)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

#20416791
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9841) - you deserved it (31727)

On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48534) - you deserved it (6155)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (5035)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (5311)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11867) - you deserved it (27960)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7013) - you deserved it (18608)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
273 comments

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: