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Giftig

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Giftig

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2836
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Giftig's page activity

Visits<b>super3286</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:06am<b>JAvolt</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:59pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:58am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:32am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:28pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:30pm<b>jamsdean</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:22am<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:54am<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:01pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:23pm<b>razi1</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 5:44am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:36pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:47pm<b>bkinns</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:38am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:51am<b>Straya_for_life</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 2:14pm

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Giftig's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (3583)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

#21295219
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30943) - you deserved it (6536)

On 11/09/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (2559)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (9901)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15601) - you deserved it (36062)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (8646)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40964) - you deserved it (9499)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (9387) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (14257)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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