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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (1475)
On 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by ninjakomodo (man) - United States
Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14319) - you deserved it (1882)
On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (798)
On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother in law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15209) - you deserved it (1085)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15363) - you deserved it (1178)
On 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm - health - by rahavan - United States (Washington)
Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (1250)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States
Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (2946)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (6126)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18555) - you deserved it (1944)
On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3945) - you deserved it (18649)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (1790)
On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7517) - you deserved it (28104)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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