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GRgoldfish's FML badges
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
GRgoldfish's favorite FMLs
Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML
by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work
by NO NO NO / 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML
by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML
by Zatnikatel / 07/31/2013 at 10:15am / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML
by lostmystuff / 07/07/2013 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nomorenakedpicsplease / 07/07/2013 at 1:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML
by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by BimmerDriver / 06/30/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, my mother was telling me how i use to suck on my dad's nipple's when i was hungry as a baby,… Today, I went to the zoo with some friends. We went and saw the gorillas. Apparently, the gorilla… Today, I took my daughter's cat in for what should have been a routine surgery. He reacted badly to…