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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (1500)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by ShadowReiku (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (6839)
On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17607) - you deserved it (1083)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3791) - you deserved it (53536)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (2991)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (1774)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (1480)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (1115)
On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (2400)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (1294)
On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)
Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (1363)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States
Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (2453)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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