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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43205) - you deserved it (5319)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (2563)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40805) - you deserved it (20399)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49297) - you deserved it (8210)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50670) - you deserved it (13757)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (11597)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40995) - you deserved it (50863)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35297) - you deserved it (4158)
On 06/07/2013 at 12:33am - animals - by Damn Cat - United States (Iowa)
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45324) - you deserved it (4114)
On 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm - love - by ApparentlyNotEno (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51102) - you deserved it (3108)
On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (3296)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (4448)
On 06/02/2013 at 4:29am - kids - by samabomination - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (3375)
On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40507) - you deserved it (5892)
On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48905) - you deserved it (4743)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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