I work - I go to school - I party in my free time. I'm a typical 20 year old guy. Anythin else - feel free to ask.
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you totally deserved it (1371)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19178) - you totally deserved it (1065)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the Xray machine. FML.
I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you totally deserved it (1092)
On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17309) - you totally deserved it (938)
On 11/05/2009 at 4:44am - work - by hatemyjob - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2953) - you totally deserved it (26882)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6018) - you totally deserved it (37830)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you totally deserved it (2877)
On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you totally deserved it (4918)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8578) - you totally deserved it (18975)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
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