About G97Alex : I like waffles.
I'm Mexican, and I'm also part Spanish, German and Austrian. I'm agnostic as well.
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You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies "That's my dad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8551) - you deserved it (60483)
On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)
Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48852) - you deserved it (4484)
On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (123466)
On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (51740)
On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (390957) - you deserved it (22115)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66307) - you deserved it (2753)
On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53297) - you deserved it (4481)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59495) - you deserved it (15534)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220243) - you deserved it (27168)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14167) - you deserved it (53636)
On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (70595)
On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47094) - you deserved it (129122)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (285100) - you deserved it (28924)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (232778) - you deserved it (13861)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13694) - you deserved it (109739)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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