About G97Alex : I like waffles.
I'm Mexican, and I'm also part Spanish, German and Austrian. I'm agnostic as well.
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Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56527) - you deserved it (6642)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199315) - you deserved it (58831)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40336) - you deserved it (24444)
On 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by thathurt (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363904) - you deserved it (20230)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42586) - you deserved it (485251)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307222) - you deserved it (40943)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (105910)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85100) - you deserved it (19070)
On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (277209) - you deserved it (21816)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (208754) - you deserved it (35393)
On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11677) - you deserved it (55235)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61421) - you deserved it (2172)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461131) - you deserved it (572893)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (118964)
On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121529) - you deserved it (3830)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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