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Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (2359)
On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47149) - you deserved it (3629)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35170) - you deserved it (17893)
On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (11980)
On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81604) - you deserved it (6013)
On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7579) - you deserved it (43685)
On 08/08/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35322) - you deserved it (4870)
On 08/08/2009 at 4:48am - misc - by rivercitybarf (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (3042)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by tryingnottocare (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while eating at a restaurant, I commented to the waiter about how large the pizza was. He then writes down his number, pats his crotch fondly, and informs me that "everything" I'm going to find at that restaurant is going to be big. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (5307)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:05am - misc - by Screwupify (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48185) - you deserved it (1925)
On 08/06/2009 at 1:28am - love - by gkline09 - United States
Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (3727)
On 08/05/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43291) - you deserved it (5120)
On 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm - misc - by bigryngf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44909) - you deserved it (1854)
On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (61473) - you deserved it (5837)
On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3873) - you deserved it (42415)
On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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