FunkyAndFresh

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FunkyAndFresh

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 July 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2808
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FunkyAndFresh : I iz crazy?!

FunkyAndFresh's page activity

Visits<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:59am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:04pm<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:15pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:36pm<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:52am<b>lillyana_mmm</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:58pm<b>danniKay214</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 4:14pm<b>shaar</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:56am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 8:06am<b>stevenconti</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 9:23am<b>Magical_Guava</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:58am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:30pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:32am<b>T_S_S_U</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:17am<b>sarahv04</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:27pm<b>mariab2898</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 6:57pm<b>ceji3</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 5:44pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:08pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:03am

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FunkyAndFresh's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

by heresmybellybotton / 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 12:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

by ballerphilip23 / 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm / Austria (Wien) / Transportation

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

by dinosawerr / 05/05/2009 at 8:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

by Gjkashldf / 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I worked a car wash as a fundraiser. Being nice I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

by fail / 04/26/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 2:19am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

by Mark / 03/30/2009 at 3:06am / United States / Love

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous