Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FunkyAndFresh

Search for a member

FunkyAndFresh
  • Town/Country : Kent, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1392
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FunkyAndFresh : I iz crazy?!

FunkyAndFresh's last visitors

shaarRoseWithThornsalexmac222vegaskedT_S_S_Ulillyana_mmmsarahv04mariab2898ceji3thesnypist8

FunkyAndFresh's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of FunkyAndFresh's badges

FunkyAndFresh's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (3632)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
83 comments

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (8384)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (26907)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (3358)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (45249)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

#6118841
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (1657)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (2982)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (5441)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38547) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39589) - you deserved it (18831)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107776) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: