About Fsvb : Look at that fat birdie up there. Look at it. Isn't it awesome? Her name is Derp :)
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Fsvb's favorite FMLs
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today, I was taking a shower at my sister's Chicago apartment. I was rinsing, when
something flew… Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random…