Fsvb

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Fsvb

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4193
  • Number of comments : 259
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Fsvb : Look at that fat birdie up there. Look at it. Isn't it awesome? Her name is Derp :)

Fsvb's page activity

Visits<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:36am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 4:48am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:30am<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:22am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 8:25pm<b>MM100</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:26pm<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:48pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 2:43pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 6:37pm<b>General_Cool</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:31pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:40am<b>JMichael</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:10pm<b>rikkidi</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:46am<b>teentee401</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:07am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 5:59am

Fucked!<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:36am<b>jelrid</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 1:25am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:18pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:59am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:57am

Fsvb's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Fsvb's badges

Fsvb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

by HatedbyBras / 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

by Ariel / 06/02/2009 at 8:19am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals