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Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4257) - you deserved it (51183)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (2901)
On 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Sub (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61668) - you deserved it (9228)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (2507)
On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (2416)
On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97118) - you deserved it (23453)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (8526)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78434) - you deserved it (18441)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54789) - you deserved it (5426)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61087) - you deserved it (3614)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (23577)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (5627)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85738) - you deserved it (7071)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58994) - you deserved it (30946)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177032) - you deserved it (25359)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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