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Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (1817)
On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41149) - you deserved it (51050)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (8664)
On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50308) - you deserved it (15465)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (5851)
On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75157) - you deserved it (4314)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48679) - you deserved it (5701)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47286) - you deserved it (7570)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54660) - you deserved it (9174)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (5578)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (8002)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (4137)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27294) - you deserved it (3079)
On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31435) - you deserved it (1968)
On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (9468)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Monday 17 June 2013
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