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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16674) - you deserved it (1768)
On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22831) - you deserved it (9969)
On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6000) - you deserved it (13879)
On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5960) - you deserved it (18374)
On 12/31/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67409) - you deserved it (9581)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87880) - you deserved it (3669)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (63636)
On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (59128)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (95913) - you deserved it (4334)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59313) - you deserved it (143995)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (47357)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28459) - you deserved it (46453)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16630) - you deserved it (37110)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (64650) - you deserved it (17315)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77951) - you deserved it (29138)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
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