About Foxy_On_Fire : I'm 23 and living in south louisiana where crazy things happn which is where FML comes in. i am a massage therapist but stay professional when at work but goofy when off the clock.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (5744)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41582) - you deserved it (2703)
On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36175) - you deserved it (2250)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36237) - you deserved it (1958)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (3181)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (7340)
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (7340)
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (16273)
On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (1436)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22189) - you deserved it (3089)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20028) - you deserved it (1566)
On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4290) - you deserved it (29555)
On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (2483)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (1808)
On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (1196)
On 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm - misc - by Alex (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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