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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Flying_Pink_Lulz

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Flying_Pink_Lulz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44258
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Flying_Pink_Lulz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (2596)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you deserved it (35071)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (46269)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16347) - you deserved it (54641)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

#2264507 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (40090)

On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew from New York to San Fransisco with my wife. We were seated apart and were texting each other about our seatmates in Spanish. I told her the ass of the woman next to me was oozing under the armrest and making my leg sweat. The oozer told me that lots of fat asses can read Spanish. 6 hours to SF. FML

#2177396 (334)

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (50622)

On 05/22/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by mecago (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (97742)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724 (631)

I agree, your life sucks (14993) - you deserved it (158454)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60644) - you deserved it (16265)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (14683) - you deserved it (46095)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

#1404603 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (56109) - you deserved it (5120)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (43774)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (18939) - you deserved it (57310)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

#1135948 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (91774) - you deserved it (8815)

On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said " You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left he window open. FML

#1054531 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (7527) - you deserved it (73941)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)