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FlamingMachete's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
FlamingMachete's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
by bosssssssss765432 / 05/16/2009 at 11:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by t-dawg / 05/09/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML
by pacificbeach / 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…