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FlamingMachete's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
FlamingMachete's favorite FMLs
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
by thisblows / 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2011 at 10:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love
by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy
by Raprotcommander / 02/07/2011 at 10:47am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML
by peachmelba / 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
by unlucky dudebag / 01/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML
by FamilySecret / 01/29/2011 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for… Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard… Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and…
- Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a…